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August 10, 2005

「氷の接吻」感想。

氷の接吻

作品の評価:☆☆☆
好き度:☆☆☆☆☆(出たー!!!)

た、たっけてー・・。
笑い過ぎて、顎の付け根がガクガクします。
し、死ぬ。苦しい・・。もーダメ。

すみません、ユアン・マクレガーが
ストーカーでスパイなこの映画、超舐めてました。
このどうしようもなさそうな設定といい、
コテコテの題名といい、ショッボイ感じの
ただのお色気サスペンスだと思ったのに。

なんとユアン魅力大爆発!!凄まじい破壊力です!
もー全編ありえない!ありえなさすぎ!!
ありえなさの嵐で腹抱えて笑いました。
何が英国諜報部のスパイだよ!!
そんな鈍い動きの諜報部員が一体どこにおるか!
ズボンの裾から白靴下が覗いちゃってるスパイだなんて、
人をバカにするにもほどがあるよ!
赤いジャケット着て尾行すんなよ!
黄色いセーター着て尾行すんな!!
銃持ってても人殴ってても、全然決まってないよ!
ツッコミどころ満載です。

心に傷持ったちょい引きこもりの
無口なインドア調査員が、
うっかり事件に巻き込まれちゃって
謎の女性を追い掛けてアメリカ各地を
飛び回ることになる、という設定なので、
慣れない仕事をしてるということで、
ユアンのもたつき具合も仕方ないんでしょうけど。
でもそれにしたって、何をしてても、
さっぱりサマにならないのがもう愛しすぎる!!
ああっ、もう!こんなぼんやりした夢見がちな美しい男、
お前はジェームズ・スペイダーか!!

いやはや。ストーリー的には
全然たいしたことはないんですけどね。
お昼の2時間ドラマか、
名所ばっか出て来るサスペンス劇場みたい。
映画じゃなくてドラマね。要するに安いという。
曲とかダサいし、オシャレ臭い映像を入れようと
頑張っちゃってるとことかドラマっぽいです。
脚本もあちこち無理があります。
だって、ユアンってば報告もせず、
勝手に調査して回ってるし。
自分の指紋とか全然気を遣ってないし。

ところどころ、イイものは持ってるんですが、
バカバカしさがそれを上回っちゃいました。
でも、ひょっとしてこれってわざと!?
もしかして私、完全に踊らされてる!?
でなきゃ、ユアンにあんなスパイとか
やらせる意味が分からん。

謎の女性を演じたアシュレイ・ジャッドがやっぱ
すごい魅力的でした。
当時ですでに30過ぎてるだろうに、
ベビーフェイス?とハスキーボイスがたまりません。
アシュレイ・ジャッドの七変化を
(いや、7どころじゃないな。20変化くらい?)
見られるだけで充分価値があります。
イイ女然としてるところも、ちょっとくたびれたカッコを
してるのも、どちらにしても色っぽい。
こりゃ、どんな男も虜になって破滅されられるわ!
と、魔性の女の説得力あり過ぎです。

そしてユアンが美しい!あー、若いって素晴らしい。
といっても、この映画1999年製作だから、
たかだか6年前か。それにしては若く見えるなあ。
撮り方がいいのかなあ。
いつものように何となくもっさりしてるユアンですが、
角度によってはすんごい綺麗で思わず見とれます。
最初の方、後ろの生え際とか揃ってんのが可愛い。
またぶかぶかした服着やがって!ベストとか!
指までちょっぴり出しやがって!もういやらしい!

ということで、ユアンが困ったり慌てたり爪噛んだり、
コケたり笑ったりと、もう、ユアンだけでご飯3杯!
満腹です!!ご馳走さまでっす!!

しかし、原題が「eye of the beholder」なのに
なんでまた「氷の接吻」?センスないよねー。
何のことだかわかんないじゃん。失敗してる。
あと、なっちの字幕もやっぱりあんま好きじゃない。
ユアンが言う「彼女は美人じゃない」
っていう意味の台詞を「ブスだ」とか
平気で訳してるからひどいなあと思った。
あー、英語字幕で見たいよ。
それから、ビデオで見ちゃったんだけど、
DVDに入っているという「もう一つのラスト」が見たいよ!!!
どっかに置いてないかな!ないよねー。

【以下、ネタバレ注意!!】
       ・
       ・
       ・
       ・
       ・
       ・
       ・
さー、ツッコミますよー。
そもそも、ユアンの役って「EYE」っていう
名前というかコードネームなの?
またベタやなー。そんなんいつ出て来た?
名前がないからとりあえずそう呼んでるだけ?
「ラッキー」とは呼ばれてたけど。

んで、ユアン演じるアイの妄想、
娘のルーシーが、すっごい可愛かった。
この設定はいいよね。
あの子のために、行く先々で
スノードームを買って来るのも、
それでアメリカのどこを回ったか分かるのも
ありがちだけど可愛くて良いネタです。

でも、アイ、荷物多過ぎ。
ジョアナが下着に1枚洋服引っかけて
パッと出て行ったのを、
あいつそんなに早く、追いかけられるわけないじゃん!
部屋中に荷物散らかしてるのに。
スノードームはいつどうやって詰めたんだ!!
大体、いつもスーツケースとバッグ抱えてる
大荷物の諜報部員なんて見たことないよ!!
ある意味リアルだけど。
ハトと一緒に生活してるのも笑える。

そして、数々のストーカー行為がまた!
ジョアナが風呂入ってる隣りの部屋で
妄想して壁さすってたり、
部屋に忍び込んで彼女の犯罪の証拠を消して回ったり、
陰毛拾ってんのはヤバイと思ったけど、
これは一応証拠集めだったんですね。
しかし、こいつペンダント落としたり、ダメすぎ。
すぐジョアナに撒かれて慌てて追いかけてるし。

しかも、寝てるジョアナの指に勝手にお揃いの
結婚指輪なんか嵌めやがって!ギャー!
ジョアナも同じ指輪が手で光ってるんだから、
もっと早く気付きなよ!

あと、アパートの管理人に尾行がバレバレなのが笑える。
しかも「迷い犬みたいな」ってあちこちで言われてるし!
諜報部の仲間にも言われてるけど、
この管理人のおばちゃんにまで!
ひたすら、そういうぼやーっとしたキャラなのね。
それから、「中肉中背」「どこにでもいる男」
「セールスマン」とかごく普通の
目立たない男、みたいに言われてるけど、
こんなにボケボケした隙だらけの可愛い男、
逆に滅多にいないと思うよ!?絶対普通じゃないよ!

ジョアナが昔、更正施設で教えられたという博士は
すごく存在感があって良かったです。
ドクターブロートね。
しかし、なんだかんだ言って
アイのやつ、女に好かれてるんだよなー。
ドクターの部屋に招かれて酒まで振舞われてるし。
同僚のヒラリーも心配したり迷惑がりながらも
結局は色々教えてくれるし。
まあ、こんな可愛い奴が必死になって
「助けて」とか頼んで二コーと笑ったりなんかしてたら
そりゃお願いも聞いてあげたくなるか。
特に年増女は。

ジョアナがジタンを吸うから、
真似してアイもおぼつかない手付きで
煙草に火を付けてるのが可愛かった。
でもユアン、火を付けたあとは完全に
いつもの仕草だよ。煙草吸う人の自然な動作に
なっちゃってます。ここはもうちょっと。

あと、彼女の幸せに嫉妬して
結婚をぶち壊したのはアイなんですが、
なんでガーディアンとかエンジェルとか
呼ばれてんの!もう!何が「天使」じゃ!
ブッハー!笑止!!

そして、笑いが最高潮に達したのがこのシーン!!
車で逃げるジョアナをバイクで追い掛けるアイ。
そしてアイは車の横に並び、風に吹かれながら、
満面の笑顔で窓へ向かって彼女に手を伸ばし、
ってここ、ギャグですかー!?
必殺スローモーション&音消え&ぼかし!!
長い!長い!ユアン、顔が醜いよ!!
もう死ぬかと思ったよ。ほんと勘弁してくれよ!

最後、必死に車からジョアナを引き摺りだしてたので、
車が沈むのかと思ったら全然沈まないので
あれって感じでした。
そして、中途半端なラストで
突然終わってしまったのが残念。
結局、アイは家族を失ったというトラウマを
乗り越えられたんでしょうかねえ。

そういえば、何でアイは自分の銃に空砲を
入れてたんでしょうね。ジョアナを家に呼んで
殺されそうになることを見越してたのか?
ここはちょっと良く分からなかった。

ということで、ひたすら笑いっぱなしの104分。
あー久しぶりにいいもの見ちゃった。
もー大好き、この映画!そしてユアン!
最初は無表情だったアイが、
後半になるに従って段々表情豊かになって来て、
ジョアナに笑いかけたりしてるのがほんと可愛かった。
あーDVD欲しいよー!オークションで出てるけど、
全然値段が下がらないから買えないよ!

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